I loved this all so much! As a huge Ted Lasso fan, and someone who didn’t have a great relationship with my father when I was growing up, that show resonates with me and the fatherhood dynamic was so real and honest. Loved your reflections on this!!!
I also had to smile because my Grandpa used to keep his nails and screws in all sorts of glass jars in his workshop (he screwed the lids to an overhead organizer station and then would unscrew the jars overhead!), and my dad wore blue flannel shirts (it’s one of the things i took from his home when he died) and smelled like Old Spice. It’s like you channeled them for me today in your writing. 😘
You know I am Team Ted 4LYFE, of course. There is so, so, SO much more to say about that show and a lot more to unpack in terms of the male relationships. I am tempted to dive back in and rewatch :)
My Dad did the SAME THING with his jars of nails and that homemade overhead contraption..2x4s or something like that I think...was there some kind of secret message that got passed along in the hospital after we were born: "You are a Dad now. Buy a house with a garage..." Yep. Dad stuff is HARD. Mine was at least and still is...but by opening up conversation and having the courage to be seen (right, Roy?) we change things, we grow, we heal trauma passed down for ages. Be good to you and take it easy in these next weeks...sending Love my friend. X!
OMG Sheila another absolute banger of a post and I've never even watched one episode of Ted Lasso. Nothing against Jason Sudeikis, he is great but I have limited bandwidth for accessing shows on channels that I'm unable to freeload off my momma's NFLX account 😉 Thus need to save that bandwidth for getting Schmig 2. 😃
Speaking of musicals, I am SO not surprised that you were also a Phantom of the Opera dork!! I saw that in LA when it first toured with Michael Crawford in 1989! Kept the program and have that framed in my home office, such a nostalgic old fart am I. If you can, sign up for the free 7-day trial of BroadwayHD so you can see ALL. THE. CAM. MACKINTOSH West End 25th anniversary performances (Phantom, Les Miz with Lea as Fantine, Miss Saigon) then just cancel. Listen to the music of the night!
Awwww!!! Marmi I am blushing :) Most kind and I am grateful. I will say that Ted Lasso is worth the wait and, for me, lives up to its hype and then some. There are some sweet musical nods in that show AND some RomCom love as well. It was a deliciously well-crafted show on so many fronts. *chef's kiss!*
I can't EVEN that you saw Michael Crawford !!!! To me, his name was biggahh than Donnie AND Markie Mark! Wasn't that quite the high holy days of musical theatre spectacular with Cameron Mackintosh and Webber domination? I say this in full awareness of all the colorblind casting and lack of diversity and terrible identity politics in play in that industry during that time...but man...there was a company that reproduced musical show posters on this really good quality card stock..they were just shy of a 16x20..you know, like marquis size, vertical...anyway..I had my walls papered with them-Phantom, Cats, Les Miz, Miss Saigon, Music Man, Godspell, Cabaret, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat....Emerson College, here out of Boston, hosts a weekend radio show called Standing Room Only, which is like a 5 hour block of all musical theatre tunes. A few weeks ago "What you don't know about women" from City of Angels came on and I almost drove off the road WHILE singing along to a song I haven't heard since I was 16..easily. MUSICAL THEATRE 4LYFE SUCK IT HATERS! I may have to disappear into Broadway HD...yesss... :) Thanks Marmi! It's always such a blast chatting about this stuff with you....X! (sshh Tell no one! -Natasha)
Wow, this one hit me where I live. I am, as you probably could've guessed, a big dork dad. Not quite as endlessly cheerful as Ted, and I have a LOT more nerd energy, but similar vibe. And as the father of a teenage girl, your observations about the shape of fatherhood are especially poignant. It's a weird feeling to want to be involved in someone's life but not know how. So you deploy humor as a coping / deflecting mechanism, turning yourself into a caricature. I guess I sometimes feel more like an NPC (non-player character, e.g. the computer-controlled characters in video games with set roles and a limited bit of dialogue, which they often repeat annoyingly) than an actual character, if that makes sense.
You are definitely scratching away at something that is giving me feels and thoughts. Watching my wife turn into a mother seemed like the most natural thing. It was always there, inside of her. Meanwhile, I think most dads feel perpetually out of sorts. Most of us didn't have good examples growing up. Or, if we did, they were people like Alan Thicke, which shouldn't count but totally does.
Being a father is like that improv game show 'Who's Line Is It Anyway?'--you make it up as you go, there is no scoring system but you can still lose, and the best players totally embrace the insanity.
I loved the story about your father! Thanks for the share. His drive-by dinking is pure dad material. As a dad, I couldn't be prouder.
Eric--your comments here are really beautiful and I deeply appreciate your vulnerability and insight. To be clear, I am Team Dork Dad 4LYFE. It is absolutely vital that parents, and dads especially (my reference point is male-identifying dads; I can't speak to the dynamic of women-identifying as dads) find ways to stay connected, engaged, PRESENT for their kids. Humor is one of the most powerful and loving forms of connection. As you said, it can put everyone at just enough ease to let your kid know that you have your eyes on the ball, but you're trying to stay out of their way and let them grow and fall down. I'm sure that you're NPC status feels weird and awkward and like "Am I messing this up? What else am I supposed to do?" But I don't think that's how it's being received. I'm sure that you're daughter is super grateful that you are "there," but not, like, you know RIGHTTHERE :) She might not be able to articulate that now, but she will. I'm happy you're a dad, Eric. You're doing better than you can even imagine :) AND I hope you might write some of your own stuff about your experiences here...I think you've started to articulate some really tremendous ideas....White Dads Can't Jump ? What? Maybe? :) (pleasepleaseplease...) X!
OMG I love this. Such compassion for the dad! You don't see that often; at least that's what I was thinking reading. Also I remember reading that same grouchy piece and wondering if we'd watched the same show-- that was a buzzkill for real. I love the dad energy of Ted, and I also love the friendships in that show! I also love this: "Over the course of the show he had to confront trauma and process profound sadness, regret, and grief. He had to reconcile the way his strengths—his capacity for empathy and compassion—also left him open to pain and criticism." Keep 'em coming! xoxo
Thanks my dear friend!! The show was truly revolutionary for the way it centered all kinds of male relationships and took the time to unpack father/child relationships in particular. What a gift. TED LASSO ADOPT ME!!! WE WILL DO ALL THE WORDPLAY!!! 😘🙏🏻
I loved this all so much! As a huge Ted Lasso fan, and someone who didn’t have a great relationship with my father when I was growing up, that show resonates with me and the fatherhood dynamic was so real and honest. Loved your reflections on this!!!
I also had to smile because my Grandpa used to keep his nails and screws in all sorts of glass jars in his workshop (he screwed the lids to an overhead organizer station and then would unscrew the jars overhead!), and my dad wore blue flannel shirts (it’s one of the things i took from his home when he died) and smelled like Old Spice. It’s like you channeled them for me today in your writing. 😘
Bravo!
You know I am Team Ted 4LYFE, of course. There is so, so, SO much more to say about that show and a lot more to unpack in terms of the male relationships. I am tempted to dive back in and rewatch :)
My Dad did the SAME THING with his jars of nails and that homemade overhead contraption..2x4s or something like that I think...was there some kind of secret message that got passed along in the hospital after we were born: "You are a Dad now. Buy a house with a garage..." Yep. Dad stuff is HARD. Mine was at least and still is...but by opening up conversation and having the courage to be seen (right, Roy?) we change things, we grow, we heal trauma passed down for ages. Be good to you and take it easy in these next weeks...sending Love my friend. X!
OMG Sheila another absolute banger of a post and I've never even watched one episode of Ted Lasso. Nothing against Jason Sudeikis, he is great but I have limited bandwidth for accessing shows on channels that I'm unable to freeload off my momma's NFLX account 😉 Thus need to save that bandwidth for getting Schmig 2. 😃
Speaking of musicals, I am SO not surprised that you were also a Phantom of the Opera dork!! I saw that in LA when it first toured with Michael Crawford in 1989! Kept the program and have that framed in my home office, such a nostalgic old fart am I. If you can, sign up for the free 7-day trial of BroadwayHD so you can see ALL. THE. CAM. MACKINTOSH West End 25th anniversary performances (Phantom, Les Miz with Lea as Fantine, Miss Saigon) then just cancel. Listen to the music of the night!
P.S. Your door photos and captions are gold!!
Awwww!!! Marmi I am blushing :) Most kind and I am grateful. I will say that Ted Lasso is worth the wait and, for me, lives up to its hype and then some. There are some sweet musical nods in that show AND some RomCom love as well. It was a deliciously well-crafted show on so many fronts. *chef's kiss!*
I can't EVEN that you saw Michael Crawford !!!! To me, his name was biggahh than Donnie AND Markie Mark! Wasn't that quite the high holy days of musical theatre spectacular with Cameron Mackintosh and Webber domination? I say this in full awareness of all the colorblind casting and lack of diversity and terrible identity politics in play in that industry during that time...but man...there was a company that reproduced musical show posters on this really good quality card stock..they were just shy of a 16x20..you know, like marquis size, vertical...anyway..I had my walls papered with them-Phantom, Cats, Les Miz, Miss Saigon, Music Man, Godspell, Cabaret, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat....Emerson College, here out of Boston, hosts a weekend radio show called Standing Room Only, which is like a 5 hour block of all musical theatre tunes. A few weeks ago "What you don't know about women" from City of Angels came on and I almost drove off the road WHILE singing along to a song I haven't heard since I was 16..easily. MUSICAL THEATRE 4LYFE SUCK IT HATERS! I may have to disappear into Broadway HD...yesss... :) Thanks Marmi! It's always such a blast chatting about this stuff with you....X! (sshh Tell no one! -Natasha)
Wow, this one hit me where I live. I am, as you probably could've guessed, a big dork dad. Not quite as endlessly cheerful as Ted, and I have a LOT more nerd energy, but similar vibe. And as the father of a teenage girl, your observations about the shape of fatherhood are especially poignant. It's a weird feeling to want to be involved in someone's life but not know how. So you deploy humor as a coping / deflecting mechanism, turning yourself into a caricature. I guess I sometimes feel more like an NPC (non-player character, e.g. the computer-controlled characters in video games with set roles and a limited bit of dialogue, which they often repeat annoyingly) than an actual character, if that makes sense.
You are definitely scratching away at something that is giving me feels and thoughts. Watching my wife turn into a mother seemed like the most natural thing. It was always there, inside of her. Meanwhile, I think most dads feel perpetually out of sorts. Most of us didn't have good examples growing up. Or, if we did, they were people like Alan Thicke, which shouldn't count but totally does.
Being a father is like that improv game show 'Who's Line Is It Anyway?'--you make it up as you go, there is no scoring system but you can still lose, and the best players totally embrace the insanity.
I loved the story about your father! Thanks for the share. His drive-by dinking is pure dad material. As a dad, I couldn't be prouder.
So happy to see Boris and Natasha return!!! :D
Eric--your comments here are really beautiful and I deeply appreciate your vulnerability and insight. To be clear, I am Team Dork Dad 4LYFE. It is absolutely vital that parents, and dads especially (my reference point is male-identifying dads; I can't speak to the dynamic of women-identifying as dads) find ways to stay connected, engaged, PRESENT for their kids. Humor is one of the most powerful and loving forms of connection. As you said, it can put everyone at just enough ease to let your kid know that you have your eyes on the ball, but you're trying to stay out of their way and let them grow and fall down. I'm sure that you're NPC status feels weird and awkward and like "Am I messing this up? What else am I supposed to do?" But I don't think that's how it's being received. I'm sure that you're daughter is super grateful that you are "there," but not, like, you know RIGHTTHERE :) She might not be able to articulate that now, but she will. I'm happy you're a dad, Eric. You're doing better than you can even imagine :) AND I hope you might write some of your own stuff about your experiences here...I think you've started to articulate some really tremendous ideas....White Dads Can't Jump ? What? Maybe? :) (pleasepleaseplease...) X!
White Dads Can't Jump!! LMAO
Dooooooo it!!! I will preorder! Take my damn money!! 😉
OMG I love this. Such compassion for the dad! You don't see that often; at least that's what I was thinking reading. Also I remember reading that same grouchy piece and wondering if we'd watched the same show-- that was a buzzkill for real. I love the dad energy of Ted, and I also love the friendships in that show! I also love this: "Over the course of the show he had to confront trauma and process profound sadness, regret, and grief. He had to reconcile the way his strengths—his capacity for empathy and compassion—also left him open to pain and criticism." Keep 'em coming! xoxo
Thanks my dear friend!! The show was truly revolutionary for the way it centered all kinds of male relationships and took the time to unpack father/child relationships in particular. What a gift. TED LASSO ADOPT ME!!! WE WILL DO ALL THE WORDPLAY!!! 😘🙏🏻