"I felt like the lone gazelle at a suspiciously quiet watering hole on the Serengeti." How many times in my life have I drunk from that same damned watering hole...? Give a guy a uniform - any uniform, and he KNOWS he is in charge. This story is so funny, Sheila, or would be if it weren't so true.
Sheila... omg I am laughing and rolling my eyes over here! Learning how to get a car inspection done in Mass was absurdity itself. Not like how easy and FREE it is back in my sweet New Jersey, where'd you'd just roll up at a STATE INSPECTION STATION whenever (you can watch the livecam before you go to see if there is a wait), get into the passenger seat, beep boop bop the car gets hooked up to a computer and passes and then you keep driving, like through a really chill car wash, at the end you get your sticker having spent nothing other than your time and get back onto the highway. In Mass? OMG. Where do you even go? There are no state inspection stations??? You have to pay for it?????? The place I went to was CASH ONLY (wtf) and you had to have the car parked in a spot with the seatbelts all fastened. I'm impressed they actually tested the brake lights though (NJ doesn't)!
WHAAAATTTT???? I wish I had known any of this! First off: Wow, Jersey. Way to show up EVERYONE. That sounds amazing! I've never encountered a "cash only" situation...maybe that place was sketch supreme or maybe they are running a game INSIDE the inspection sticker game that we don't even know about!! And have NEVER had to park the car in a certain spot, seat belts belted...Wow. Is it possible you were in a Squid Game without realizing it? Okay, now I really want someone like that Super Size Me guy to do an expose about all of this. Given your experience, I would say you earned 12 Masshole points. When you get to 100 you are an official Masshole. Free small coffee from Dunks included.
Reading from Michigan: WTF is an Inspection Sticker? This sounds like vehicular tyranny.
Real talk tho: whenever my wife takes our car in for service, the treatment she gets is completely different than what I get. Which is why I usually take our cars in for service.
Okay..now I want to do some Daily Show-ish expose on the whole inspection sticker racket from state to state! Who will fund this? Is Oprah still handing out greenbacks or what? Yes--the gender dynamics in those places are WILD.
I could say it holds the universe together…like duct tape. I think it has to do with emissions and the car’s system. They run a diagnostic on a bunch of stuff and if you have enough stuff wrong or out of whack they come out like surgeons to give you the bad news, wiping their hands on an oily cloth, “I’m afraid the Turcell is not going to pass inspection.” And the sound of weeping fills the waiting area. And that sound is coming from your wallet because it usually means you need a new carburetor or engine IF you want to pass inspection. I’m not saying the mafia is behind all of this, but I’m not not saying that….
My mind was blown when I visited another state a few years ago and learned they had no required annual inspection. This line of inquiry was prompted by the death traps that passed as vehicles driving on the road. Say what??
Yeah..Massholes be “Hold my beeeaahhh.” :) We’ve honed it to refinement, like a Japanese tea ceremony :) It’s really interesting that the requirements vary so much state to state. IT’S AN INSPECTION STICKER CABAL AT WORK!
"I felt like the lone gazelle at a suspiciously quiet watering hole on the Serengeti." How many times in my life have I drunk from that same damned watering hole...? Give a guy a uniform - any uniform, and he KNOWS he is in charge. This story is so funny, Sheila, or would be if it weren't so true.
The uniform can make the dynamic extra weird, right? Humans continue to fascinate! Thanks my friend! X!
🤪
Sheila... omg I am laughing and rolling my eyes over here! Learning how to get a car inspection done in Mass was absurdity itself. Not like how easy and FREE it is back in my sweet New Jersey, where'd you'd just roll up at a STATE INSPECTION STATION whenever (you can watch the livecam before you go to see if there is a wait), get into the passenger seat, beep boop bop the car gets hooked up to a computer and passes and then you keep driving, like through a really chill car wash, at the end you get your sticker having spent nothing other than your time and get back onto the highway. In Mass? OMG. Where do you even go? There are no state inspection stations??? You have to pay for it?????? The place I went to was CASH ONLY (wtf) and you had to have the car parked in a spot with the seatbelts all fastened. I'm impressed they actually tested the brake lights though (NJ doesn't)!
WHAAAATTTT???? I wish I had known any of this! First off: Wow, Jersey. Way to show up EVERYONE. That sounds amazing! I've never encountered a "cash only" situation...maybe that place was sketch supreme or maybe they are running a game INSIDE the inspection sticker game that we don't even know about!! And have NEVER had to park the car in a certain spot, seat belts belted...Wow. Is it possible you were in a Squid Game without realizing it? Okay, now I really want someone like that Super Size Me guy to do an expose about all of this. Given your experience, I would say you earned 12 Masshole points. When you get to 100 you are an official Masshole. Free small coffee from Dunks included.
Patagonia Sinatra made me laugh out loud
I stand by this. He was VERY fancy.
Reading from Michigan: WTF is an Inspection Sticker? This sounds like vehicular tyranny.
Real talk tho: whenever my wife takes our car in for service, the treatment she gets is completely different than what I get. Which is why I usually take our cars in for service.
Okay..now I want to do some Daily Show-ish expose on the whole inspection sticker racket from state to state! Who will fund this? Is Oprah still handing out greenbacks or what? Yes--the gender dynamics in those places are WILD.
I'm still baffled by the very idea. What exactly does the sticker do??
I could say it holds the universe together…like duct tape. I think it has to do with emissions and the car’s system. They run a diagnostic on a bunch of stuff and if you have enough stuff wrong or out of whack they come out like surgeons to give you the bad news, wiping their hands on an oily cloth, “I’m afraid the Turcell is not going to pass inspection.” And the sound of weeping fills the waiting area. And that sound is coming from your wallet because it usually means you need a new carburetor or engine IF you want to pass inspection. I’m not saying the mafia is behind all of this, but I’m not not saying that….
There are many things I miss about Oregon. Having to go through DEQ every two years for new tags is not one of them.
I loved this one!
Thanks Christopher! I really appreciate it and so happy it made you smile :)
You’re amazing that you can actually write in an accent! I was howling at this piece, sitting right beside you in the tiny waiting area.
HAA! You are very funny Donna. No one wants that accent..written or heard...but it cannot be stopped :)
My mind was blown when I visited another state a few years ago and learned they had no required annual inspection. This line of inquiry was prompted by the death traps that passed as vehicles driving on the road. Say what??
Yes..the car inspection thing should be put under the Nathan Fielder lens...WHAT is happening state to state? It is pretty wild...
Man, and I thought people in Philly were rude 🤣
No inspections here in WI, just a quick emissions test every few years or so.
Yeah..Massholes be “Hold my beeeaahhh.” :) We’ve honed it to refinement, like a Japanese tea ceremony :) It’s really interesting that the requirements vary so much state to state. IT’S AN INSPECTION STICKER CABAL AT WORK!
The deep state hard at work 😵
"That’s right Patagonia Sinatra, your cash will earn you no favors here." You dig, pally?
Damn straight. Why don't you put your earbuds in and go back to catching up on whatever Ira Glass-produced podcast you're into these days...
I’m a “This American Life” fan…
I am too and it’s okay to poke fun at that :) We wouldn’t have most of the ‘casts we do if it weren’t for Ira and Co. :)