Fitted sheets are not meant to be folded. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. My question: what is the story with these new pillow cases that act like little envelopes???? They have some sort of flap situation on the end and I HATE IT.
Also: do the Chinese have a dishwasher-loading competition? If they ever have a Marriage Olympics, the lead event will be watching a husband-wife team load a dishwasher together. If they are still married at the end of this, or twenty years of this, they win.
I like the way your mind works. How about a competition for putting those little stickers on pieces of fruit like they do in the market? I think I could totally win gold on that.
You're right about all of this! Why does Big Sheet hate us so? What did we ever do to them?! Yeah that Dishwasher Loading event would draw huge viewership I think. Not only the loading, but who pre-rinses/scrapes and who puts their blind trust in the machine itself? there are a lot of complexities...indeed.
I think you get a medal for those “hospital corners.” That is hard core. I have broken a sweat more than once dealing with stubborn sheets—so, yes, totally agree!!
We figured out how to cure polio, but cannot master the fitted sheet design. What if the sheet were all corners so that no matter what it just…worked? HOW DID THE PEOPLE WITH WATERBEDS IN THE 80S DEAL WITH THIS???? Now THAT would be a fantastic competition: Waterbed-making! Messy, no doubt :)
And the gold medal goes to..... Sheila Moeschen for her post on bed making!
"... a bed of such perfection that most guests end up sleeping in the bathtub so as not to ruin it." I can sleep in a bathtub as long as I can bring my bag of Funions and 2-liter of Dr. Pepper. But to raise the motivation even more, the winner should have the opportunity to mess up the bed afterward with Tom Hiddleston. Just saying.
Your description of dealing with fitted sheets, Sheila, both the FOLDING thereof and finding the right corner of the sheet for the right corner of the bed, raised my anxiety and I am not even competing. Brilliantly funny, girl.
Job done, then! But, about those duvet covers: I throw the comforter on the bed, then throw the duvet cover on top of it.Et voila! ( Or, if you prefer Italian - Badda bing badda boom.)
I was about halfway through this before I was convinced it was real. Once again, satire can no longer keep up with reality. I'm just gonna lie down on my poorly made bed.
This reminds me of a distant time in a place once called Twitter where the gathered many (or were they few?) celebrated a video and general tweeted discussion on the proper way to fold a fitted sheet. I recall it because it was the merriest time I had on the legendary site. Ah, we hardly knew ye, blue bird of hilarity. :-/
Those were some heady days! Very "don't know what you've got, till it's gone!" I'm sure Martha Stewart watches those bed-making competitions and thinks "I was running fitted sheet circles around you before you were out of high school."
You're a veritable expert on periphery sports and teach us so much! I think we need a hybrid of this and curling. They have to send the duvet down the ice directly into the cover.
I've spent a lifetime looking for sport that might get me to the Olympics. After reading this. I'm still looking. But laughing too. And remembering how guilty I felt ruining a perfectly made bed in China by actually sleeping in it.
Sheila, before we get into bed – uh, get into the bed-competition thing – I must commend you on the following: "Glide on, goofy little ice Roomba dude." Only a TCA (True Cannabis Aficionado ™) would ever utter or write such a brilliantly nuanced line. Bravo, Bong Babe, bravo!
Now, about the subject at hand: If Big Sheet is serious about getting in on the Olympic action, the Powers That Be should consider something to ramp up the whole kink factor: a separate Rubber Sheet Division. The corporate sponsors will come out in droves. Just my 2 cents.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to fire up a fat blunt and stare at the ceiling. Call me in April.
I’d like to put you up for Bed-making Olympic Committee Commissioner because these ideas are fire! Let’s not even get into The Futon Games—next level! Expect a slew of “gifts” from Sealy in 3….2….. 😉 i’ll also be mentally hibernating until April…..at least! (Thanks for playing along, pal!)
" Friends–we all know that duvet covers are garbage products invented by a cabal made up of pathetic, bitter former middle-school bullies determined to make us feel about ourselves" I was dying from laughter when I read this! I didn't even know what a duvet was until 15 years ago and I'm almost 70!
Why doesn't a fitted sheet have a label like "top right corner" to save us hours of anguish over the course of a lifetime!? Might need to grab a permanent marker and END THIS.
Oh. And one other thing -- I live with a person who does not care for tucked-in sheets or blankets. After I put on the fitted sheet, I simply lay the top linens and the blankets over the top more or less flat, as if I were a lazy adolescent. I finally succumbed after years of making the bed with hospital corners (thank you gramma for that lesson), laying out a bedspread with and throw cushions, only to have the entire thing torn apart before bedtime. He can't stand to have his feet constricted. The dogs have no opinion at all.
Hospital corners!! Wow---you might have to get back in the bed-making competition game! Your current system sounds absolutely fantastic. The no-lifting method. That's the dream. Yep. :)
Fitted sheets are not meant to be folded. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. My question: what is the story with these new pillow cases that act like little envelopes???? They have some sort of flap situation on the end and I HATE IT.
Also: do the Chinese have a dishwasher-loading competition? If they ever have a Marriage Olympics, the lead event will be watching a husband-wife team load a dishwasher together. If they are still married at the end of this, or twenty years of this, they win.
I like the way your mind works. How about a competition for putting those little stickers on pieces of fruit like they do in the market? I think I could totally win gold on that.
Better yet — a competition for who can peel them off again once the fruit is home, without taking half the fruit with it?
🥹👍🏻
You're right about all of this! Why does Big Sheet hate us so? What did we ever do to them?! Yeah that Dishwasher Loading event would draw huge viewership I think. Not only the loading, but who pre-rinses/scrapes and who puts their blind trust in the machine itself? there are a lot of complexities...indeed.
Making the bed from start to finish IS a work out! I was proud of myself for figuring out "hospital corners" but I am no match for these athletes
I think you get a medal for those “hospital corners.” That is hard core. I have broken a sweat more than once dealing with stubborn sheets—so, yes, totally agree!!
I'm with you on the fitted sheet thing! And did anyone ever make a fitted sheet stayer on-er harness thing for the corners that actually works?
We figured out how to cure polio, but cannot master the fitted sheet design. What if the sheet were all corners so that no matter what it just…worked? HOW DID THE PEOPLE WITH WATERBEDS IN THE 80S DEAL WITH THIS???? Now THAT would be a fantastic competition: Waterbed-making! Messy, no doubt :)
And the gold medal goes to..... Sheila Moeschen for her post on bed making!
"... a bed of such perfection that most guests end up sleeping in the bathtub so as not to ruin it." I can sleep in a bathtub as long as I can bring my bag of Funions and 2-liter of Dr. Pepper. But to raise the motivation even more, the winner should have the opportunity to mess up the bed afterward with Tom Hiddleston. Just saying.
Your description of dealing with fitted sheets, Sheila, both the FOLDING thereof and finding the right corner of the sheet for the right corner of the bed, raised my anxiety and I am not even competing. Brilliantly funny, girl.
Thanks my dear friend! I might just switch to sleeping in hammock from now on. Leave it to the pros :) X!
Job done, then! But, about those duvet covers: I throw the comforter on the bed, then throw the duvet cover on top of it.Et voila! ( Or, if you prefer Italian - Badda bing badda boom.)
You are living life RIGHT my friend!! YES!
I was about halfway through this before I was convinced it was real. Once again, satire can no longer keep up with reality. I'm just gonna lie down on my poorly made bed.
I think a lot of us are feeling heavily invested in burrowing under the covers...so make yours the bestest! :) Thanks for chiming in!
This reminds me of a distant time in a place once called Twitter where the gathered many (or were they few?) celebrated a video and general tweeted discussion on the proper way to fold a fitted sheet. I recall it because it was the merriest time I had on the legendary site. Ah, we hardly knew ye, blue bird of hilarity. :-/
Those were some heady days! Very "don't know what you've got, till it's gone!" I'm sure Martha Stewart watches those bed-making competitions and thinks "I was running fitted sheet circles around you before you were out of high school."
Indeed she was!
You're a veritable expert on periphery sports and teach us so much! I think we need a hybrid of this and curling. They have to send the duvet down the ice directly into the cover.
You flatter me! I am hopeless when it comes to “real” sports, so the outer rim is where I like to hang for most of my sports-related endeavors
Don't be so modest. You're basically my Bob Costas.
Awww! AND I KNOW WHO THAT IS WITHOUT GOOGLING!!
I've spent a lifetime looking for sport that might get me to the Olympics. After reading this. I'm still looking. But laughing too. And remembering how guilty I felt ruining a perfectly made bed in China by actually sleeping in it.
Ah! So THAT’S why you’re on the no fly list for that part of the globe! We will tell the world your story!
Fab title, btw!
I couldn’t resist and am not above riding coattails 😉
Sheila, before we get into bed – uh, get into the bed-competition thing – I must commend you on the following: "Glide on, goofy little ice Roomba dude." Only a TCA (True Cannabis Aficionado ™) would ever utter or write such a brilliantly nuanced line. Bravo, Bong Babe, bravo!
Now, about the subject at hand: If Big Sheet is serious about getting in on the Olympic action, the Powers That Be should consider something to ramp up the whole kink factor: a separate Rubber Sheet Division. The corporate sponsors will come out in droves. Just my 2 cents.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to fire up a fat blunt and stare at the ceiling. Call me in April.
I’d like to put you up for Bed-making Olympic Committee Commissioner because these ideas are fire! Let’s not even get into The Futon Games—next level! Expect a slew of “gifts” from Sealy in 3….2….. 😉 i’ll also be mentally hibernating until April…..at least! (Thanks for playing along, pal!)
" Friends–we all know that duvet covers are garbage products invented by a cabal made up of pathetic, bitter former middle-school bullies determined to make us feel about ourselves" I was dying from laughter when I read this! I didn't even know what a duvet was until 15 years ago and I'm almost 70!
I am glad you were never bullied by Big Duvet!
Curling is great! I mean, they call the tournaments “bonspiels.” Meanwhile, football has things like the “Duke’s Mayo Bowl.” Which one sounds cooler?
YES! See—you get it! Give me a day of “bonspiels” and bon-bons and I am very happy.
Why doesn't a fitted sheet have a label like "top right corner" to save us hours of anguish over the course of a lifetime!? Might need to grab a permanent marker and END THIS.
YES!!! Then again, maybe this kind of task would make a great interrogation technique. I know I’d be spilling state secrets in 3 minutes…or less.
Oh. And one other thing -- I live with a person who does not care for tucked-in sheets or blankets. After I put on the fitted sheet, I simply lay the top linens and the blankets over the top more or less flat, as if I were a lazy adolescent. I finally succumbed after years of making the bed with hospital corners (thank you gramma for that lesson), laying out a bedspread with and throw cushions, only to have the entire thing torn apart before bedtime. He can't stand to have his feet constricted. The dogs have no opinion at all.
Hospital corners!! Wow---you might have to get back in the bed-making competition game! Your current system sounds absolutely fantastic. The no-lifting method. That's the dream. Yep. :)