Sharron—take good, good care of yourself and your people. Now more than ever we have to look out for one another. Humanity is worth preserving. That being said—as soon as I can get a hold of Doc Brown, I’m booking a ticket on that time machine. Yep. :) X!
Absolutely brilliant satire. The "America is barely in a position to handle an outbreak of poison ivy let alone the return of smallpox" line lands perfectly bc it captures the exhaustion-driven lowered expectations we've all internalized without admitting it. The budget line item for "sinkholes, spontaneous combustion, and birthday party expenses" is chef's kiss level bureaucratic dark humor. I've definately been part of organizations that approach new years this way, where even basic functioning feels like aspirational goal-setting. The Taylor Swift wedding mandate at the end ties it all together, recognizing that Swift Nation has more institutional power than most governemnts.
Okay, Dolly Parton can't run a small country, but could she run a country with roughly 350 million people who didn't handle the last virulent strain that well? Asking for a fellow Dolly constituent.
Right. Good point. Let’s give Dolly the reasonable, mid-sized country that happens to be on a particular side of the Atlantic, known for a couple of big deal amusement parks, some kind of coffee and donut chain. Not a big deal, but Dolly could make it work. I’ll make some calls :)
"We’ve been burned in the past; see: 1929, 1941, 1963, 1968, 1970 (because disco), politically speaking most of the 1980s, 2001, and pretty much the last decade."
You nailed it!
And not to be overly judgmental, but ... anyone who cannot identify *exactly* what these years (and the entire fucking decade) refer to must have the I.Q. of spinach.
Overall, Sheila, your Whimsically Terrifying Chunk O' Satire reminds me of a popular bumper sticker from back in the day: "Beam me up, Scotty. This planet sucks!"
Anyway, here's to a less "dramatic" 2026. (Yeah ... right...)
Thanks my dear…although, given the start to this year I fear she skimmed the onboarding letter completely! GET IT TOGETHER, 2026! I saw another funny post that was like “Only a week into the year and 2026 already has to move its desk out in the hallway.” True. Stay strong my friend. Humanity will prevail. XO!
Yes!!! I saw that post too and laughed and felt it! The chair in the hallway. Although it feels like we’re all in detention and the bell is broken or silent and we’re all just sitting there waiting for a better day. ❤️
You are just totally out there, Sheila! Absolutely mad. Thanks for always making my day. "Also, we’d appreciate weather without prefixes such as “super” and “mega;” ditto on anything resembling a “bombogenesis” or “bomb cyclone.” Just nothing that meteorologists can compare to nuclear artillery." I mean, really!
Great advice/predictions! Mars is looking appealing these days. Maybe a good vacation spot?
I mean, I haven’t priced out Martian condos, but I haven’t NOT priced them out…all I’m saying.
Yeah. I don't want to live in this world any more... Some place quiet, sane, please God...
Sharron—take good, good care of yourself and your people. Now more than ever we have to look out for one another. Humanity is worth preserving. That being said—as soon as I can get a hold of Doc Brown, I’m booking a ticket on that time machine. Yep. :) X!
Thank you, Sheila. Please book two. I have frequent flyer miles I could use.
Your ticket’s on me my friend. Pack light, but bring books and chocolate :)
Books. Check. Chocolate. Check. Yoga pants, T-shirt. Check Check. Maybe a tooth brush.
Absolutely brilliant satire. The "America is barely in a position to handle an outbreak of poison ivy let alone the return of smallpox" line lands perfectly bc it captures the exhaustion-driven lowered expectations we've all internalized without admitting it. The budget line item for "sinkholes, spontaneous combustion, and birthday party expenses" is chef's kiss level bureaucratic dark humor. I've definately been part of organizations that approach new years this way, where even basic functioning feels like aspirational goal-setting. The Taylor Swift wedding mandate at the end ties it all together, recognizing that Swift Nation has more institutional power than most governemnts.
Okay, Dolly Parton can't run a small country, but could she run a country with roughly 350 million people who didn't handle the last virulent strain that well? Asking for a fellow Dolly constituent.
Right. Good point. Let’s give Dolly the reasonable, mid-sized country that happens to be on a particular side of the Atlantic, known for a couple of big deal amusement parks, some kind of coffee and donut chain. Not a big deal, but Dolly could make it work. I’ll make some calls :)
Let me know how it goes so I can immigrate!
"We’ve been burned in the past; see: 1929, 1941, 1963, 1968, 1970 (because disco), politically speaking most of the 1980s, 2001, and pretty much the last decade."
You nailed it!
And not to be overly judgmental, but ... anyone who cannot identify *exactly* what these years (and the entire fucking decade) refer to must have the I.Q. of spinach.
Overall, Sheila, your Whimsically Terrifying Chunk O' Satire reminds me of a popular bumper sticker from back in the day: "Beam me up, Scotty. This planet sucks!"
Anyway, here's to a less "dramatic" 2026. (Yeah ... right...)
Beam me ANYWHERE just about these days. Ooof. I think this letter ended up in 2026’s spam folder. Not cool already 😉
Somewher, in a parallel universe, the president of Venezuela kidnapped "Orange Hitler" and lopped off his combover on live television.
There. Feel better? :>)
Hang in there...
Yes, actually. Imagining multiple timelines has become my favorite way to dissociate these days! ONWARD!!
Yeah! And take your Super Flu and stick it in that same dark intestinal space the Bomb Cyclone lives! Go on! Git outta here!
OMIGOSH! You’re right—-no super flus, bugs, NEW mega strains of anything! 2026 already needs a time out and no technology for a WEEK!
That last sentence was priceless!! ❤️
Thanks my dear…although, given the start to this year I fear she skimmed the onboarding letter completely! GET IT TOGETHER, 2026! I saw another funny post that was like “Only a week into the year and 2026 already has to move its desk out in the hallway.” True. Stay strong my friend. Humanity will prevail. XO!
Yes!!! I saw that post too and laughed and felt it! The chair in the hallway. Although it feels like we’re all in detention and the bell is broken or silent and we’re all just sitting there waiting for a better day. ❤️
Yeah. And the vending machine keeps eating our dollar bills
Brilliant! Love your predictions.
HA! Thanks Yael! It looks like 2026 is already throwing spaghetti at the walls…might have to give it the old NyQuil cocktail :)
This premise was 🧑🍳 💋
Also, you know he will fuck it up
Thanks my friend. And yeah--2026 is already on my last nerve. Minga.
You are just totally out there, Sheila! Absolutely mad. Thanks for always making my day. "Also, we’d appreciate weather without prefixes such as “super” and “mega;” ditto on anything resembling a “bombogenesis” or “bomb cyclone.” Just nothing that meteorologists can compare to nuclear artillery." I mean, really!
I do what I can these days my friend! The year is young, but hopefully trainable or easily sedated. :) X!
😊