WHAT??!!!! MOOREA! THAT IS AMAZING!! I’m so happy for you! YOU’RE IN THE ELITE CLASS!! I would get that damn thing blown up to the size of a bed sheet and hang it over the couch. I am in awe.
MEMORIES flooding back to me Sheila... thank you. I didn't exactly hate the Presidential Fitness Test - I did well on the sit ups and running, but "the hang" or whatever those modified pull ups were was just agonizing. And the rope... but it's not all bad news! I did manage to climb up a pole at the school playground 2 summers ago at the ripe age of 41 and felt like I finally achieved something with my life!
That’s a good point! Like some kind of DNA from when we were all ninjas and trained assassins should have just become activated! Wait-was gym class really just a covert ops training program all along?!! 👀
Great post! I still have PTSD over having to climb that damn rope all the way to the top. Why was that necessary? And the shame of not being able to make it to the top has probably shown up in therapy for the last 40 years since!
Tara--I FEEL YOU! Same-same-same! That test was hot, hot garbage and the best thing ANY leader ever did was cancel its damn ass. I think the only reason Little Orange Nero wants it back is because it says "Presidential" in the title. He probably thinks he gets the award or maybe he'll print up gaudy gold certificates and sell them to schools? There's always a grift in the mix. At any rate--I am happy to write anyone a "doctor's" note who needs it :) THIS IS MY PATRIOTIC DUTY!
My favorite part was the 600. It was the dreaded 600 yard run. 600 yards now’s seems painfully easy, but back then it seemed like running 10 miles. Couldn’t we just play dodgeball?
Different times. No seat belts in cars either. Google "wood scooter 1980s gym class" and you'll get the visual. A lot of kids were never going to be concert pianists after a day with those things. A lot.
You’re lucky that you looked forward to one of those items! And you’re right, seems like a breeze…NOW. I would totally vote for dodgeball or indoor scooter-hockey where you sat on those square scooter death traps with wheels and tried to, well, not obviously knock each other over while also hitting a ball with a stick ? What the hell WAS going on in the 80s’ PE?
Thanks my friend! I was wondering what you thought of all of this given your background. I don't know how Obama-era and beyond approaches actually worked in schools, but they seemed more level and attuned to nutrition, movement, overall health/well-being. Maybe we need you to infiltrate this whole situation! GET ON THIS!! :)
Agreed. It was/is so needed. Can't even begin to get into all the ways the GOP denigrated anything and everything Obama-related. Michelle could have been like "We breathe oxygen." and they would have been "The First Lady pushing a dangerous oxygen agenda! Can you believe these people?!" I'm not mad about it (she says, sipping her Stanley full of scotch...)
In your discussion about President Trump's desire to reinstate the Presidential Physical Fitness Test, you talk about our past obsession about beating the Godless Commies in essentially everything. It reminds me of something you may remember growing up: the "new math." In the wake of Sputnik, academic eggheads near and far put their heads together and concluded: "Let's beat the Russians to the moon by confusing the living shit out of grade-school kids as they're trying to learn remedial math. Let's make adding and subtracting so complicated, they'll want to defect to Moscow and stand in line for toilet paper." Thankfully the "new math" didn't last long and saner eggheads prevailed.
Also, there's something about your tone – I can't quite put my finger on it; maybe it's my highly sensitive intuition – tells me you're not a fan of our leader. It could be really subtle, like: "Little Orange Nero, Haver of Bone Spurs, Bringer of Chronic Venus Insufficiency, Enjoyer of the McDonald Quarter Pounder, Shunner of Vegetables, Detester of Exercise, Cheater in chief of Golf." My only feedback: God. Bless. You. I'd LOVE to see Orange Hitler, aka Jabba The Butthole, take that physical fitness test ...
Thanks Larry! Wow..the new math..I might recall something changing slightly, but it might have already gone into the circular file before my elementary days. I was really fascinated by the way this particular fitness component has been used to reinforce other political/cultural ideology. Given how obsessed Little Orange Nero is with awards, I guess that's his whole angle as well? Make Awards Awesome Again and Give them All to Trump ? Can't imagine how you got my dripping disdain for this regime from a couple of phrases. Weird. :) Stay strong. We will prevail. And thanks for being here :)
That album and the Flaming Lips’ At War With the Mystics musically inspired me while I was writing an adapted screenplay of a popular children’s novel.
Any executive order put in schools is odd. I remember my sister complaining about Michelle's meal plan for kids. My nephew would come home ravenous as the school did not provide enough food. Interesting that historically those living in the White House deemed themselves experts on kids. Good sleuthing.
With the Obamas focus on wellness and nutrition—I get it and it’s totally needed. It’s really tough to implement any of these things into schools, especially now, where there is so much resource difference between institutions. I’ll never be in politics, so no idea. But for the love of Liza Minnelli DO NOT make anyone climb a fucking rope in front of 25 other kids.
"... Honestly every time this walking bag of dicks opens its mouth I immediately dissociate...." Ha ha ha! I couldn't have said it better. Thanks, Sheila, for a great start to my day.
I have lived with the failure of never once being able to shimmy up a rope, which was somehow incorporated into the fitness test at our high school. I did, however, become a gold medalist in getting out of gym -- something that became life saving after a horrendous field hockey drill in one class during which I hit the shins of a large, healthy, and increasingly angry classmate no fewer than twenty times in the course of ten minutes. Oddly, I love moving my body now. I want to be physically fit. But I still HATE tests.
Elizabeth--I hate to dunk on your bragging rights, but I think you are in good, enormously large company on the rope fail or flail. I am now approaching my Sea Witch Era and have not HAD TO CLIMB UP OR DOWN A ROPE ONCE! Such garbage. Good for you working the system to get out of gym class. Admirable skills right there (MORE THAN DAMN ROPE DANGLING!). Same here on getting in exercise/movement every day pretty organically. Save the damn tests for college admittance. :)
OMG; I remember that award. I won it. Such was the kind of thing my self worth was based on.
WHAT??!!!! MOOREA! THAT IS AMAZING!! I’m so happy for you! YOU’RE IN THE ELITE CLASS!! I would get that damn thing blown up to the size of a bed sheet and hang it over the couch. I am in awe.
Nowadays I can't even do ONE pull-up. And even when I try, it gives me low back pain the next day. 😆😭
This is why you put the cheat day doughnuts on the REACHABLE shelves! :) The only pull ups I’m doing are pants related, but thanks anyway Prez. :)
Ha ha thanks, Shelia. That would be funny in an ironic way.
MEMORIES flooding back to me Sheila... thank you. I didn't exactly hate the Presidential Fitness Test - I did well on the sit ups and running, but "the hang" or whatever those modified pull ups were was just agonizing. And the rope... but it's not all bad news! I did manage to climb up a pole at the school playground 2 summers ago at the ripe age of 41 and felt like I finally achieved something with my life!
I’m glad you weren’t as scarred as some of us! AND still have rope skill bragging rights for days!! Boom!! 💥
What ticks me off though is no one taught us HOW to climb the rope - it's just, oh hey you've never seen this before, climb up it!
That’s a good point! Like some kind of DNA from when we were all ninjas and trained assassins should have just become activated! Wait-was gym class really just a covert ops training program all along?!! 👀
Great post! I still have PTSD over having to climb that damn rope all the way to the top. Why was that necessary? And the shame of not being able to make it to the top has probably shown up in therapy for the last 40 years since!
Tara--I FEEL YOU! Same-same-same! That test was hot, hot garbage and the best thing ANY leader ever did was cancel its damn ass. I think the only reason Little Orange Nero wants it back is because it says "Presidential" in the title. He probably thinks he gets the award or maybe he'll print up gaudy gold certificates and sell them to schools? There's always a grift in the mix. At any rate--I am happy to write anyone a "doctor's" note who needs it :) THIS IS MY PATRIOTIC DUTY!
I'd love to see Trump pass a physical test. Check that--I'd love to see him pass ANY test.
Yeah. Irony just chomped down on a cyanide pill.
My favorite part was the 600. It was the dreaded 600 yard run. 600 yards now’s seems painfully easy, but back then it seemed like running 10 miles. Couldn’t we just play dodgeball?
Okay, scooter hockey sounds amazing! We didn’t have that one. Nowadays that would be a giant OSHA no way, Jose.
Different times. No seat belts in cars either. Google "wood scooter 1980s gym class" and you'll get the visual. A lot of kids were never going to be concert pianists after a day with those things. A lot.
You’re lucky that you looked forward to one of those items! And you’re right, seems like a breeze…NOW. I would totally vote for dodgeball or indoor scooter-hockey where you sat on those square scooter death traps with wheels and tried to, well, not obviously knock each other over while also hitting a ball with a stick ? What the hell WAS going on in the 80s’ PE?
Firstly, another banger of a piece - I love how you weave history into these stories.
And secondly, this is what drives me nuts about the Republican Party. Pre-Trump I would’ve called myself an R if you put a gun to my head.
I was also a Phys ed major and a teacher/coach.
I can also see that waaay too many Americans are obese. And that is not only a drain on them, it’s a drain on the country.
But goddamn, reinstating a test that made most people HATE fitness is not the answer.
GODDAMMIT!
I digress. Enjoy your break 👊🏼
Thanks my friend! I was wondering what you thought of all of this given your background. I don't know how Obama-era and beyond approaches actually worked in schools, but they seemed more level and attuned to nutrition, movement, overall health/well-being. Maybe we need you to infiltrate this whole situation! GET ON THIS!! :)
I thought Michelle Obama taking on nutrition in public schools was wonderful. Then the republicans somehow took issue with that. Unreal.
Agreed. It was/is so needed. Can't even begin to get into all the ways the GOP denigrated anything and everything Obama-related. Michelle could have been like "We breathe oxygen." and they would have been "The First Lady pushing a dangerous oxygen agenda! Can you believe these people?!" I'm not mad about it (she says, sipping her Stanley full of scotch...)
We know someone that legit thinks she’s a man
More than one person no doubt. Either way she could kick their asses without breaking a nail.
In your discussion about President Trump's desire to reinstate the Presidential Physical Fitness Test, you talk about our past obsession about beating the Godless Commies in essentially everything. It reminds me of something you may remember growing up: the "new math." In the wake of Sputnik, academic eggheads near and far put their heads together and concluded: "Let's beat the Russians to the moon by confusing the living shit out of grade-school kids as they're trying to learn remedial math. Let's make adding and subtracting so complicated, they'll want to defect to Moscow and stand in line for toilet paper." Thankfully the "new math" didn't last long and saner eggheads prevailed.
Also, there's something about your tone – I can't quite put my finger on it; maybe it's my highly sensitive intuition – tells me you're not a fan of our leader. It could be really subtle, like: "Little Orange Nero, Haver of Bone Spurs, Bringer of Chronic Venus Insufficiency, Enjoyer of the McDonald Quarter Pounder, Shunner of Vegetables, Detester of Exercise, Cheater in chief of Golf." My only feedback: God. Bless. You. I'd LOVE to see Orange Hitler, aka Jabba The Butthole, take that physical fitness test ...
Enjoy your time off.
Thanks Larry! Wow..the new math..I might recall something changing slightly, but it might have already gone into the circular file before my elementary days. I was really fascinated by the way this particular fitness component has been used to reinforce other political/cultural ideology. Given how obsessed Little Orange Nero is with awards, I guess that's his whole angle as well? Make Awards Awesome Again and Give them All to Trump ? Can't imagine how you got my dripping disdain for this regime from a couple of phrases. Weird. :) Stay strong. We will prevail. And thanks for being here :)
Please lead me to my own pile of golden retriever puppies. STAT. lol.
Sorry? What? I was floating away in a pile of golden fur…..
I can’t see you through all the fur! lol
Nor will you…shhhhhhh :) Pull me out in 2028…
Here’s something to listen to until then:
https://youtu.be/pGhwBFYtn1s?si=ZdDqWy9o1gfBsFfg
HAAA! Yes... "wake me up...when September.....2028.....ENDS...." :) That Green Day...way ahead of its time...
That album and the Flaming Lips’ At War With the Mystics musically inspired me while I was writing an adapted screenplay of a popular children’s novel.
Music, man.
It’s the best.
Any executive order put in schools is odd. I remember my sister complaining about Michelle's meal plan for kids. My nephew would come home ravenous as the school did not provide enough food. Interesting that historically those living in the White House deemed themselves experts on kids. Good sleuthing.
With the Obamas focus on wellness and nutrition—I get it and it’s totally needed. It’s really tough to implement any of these things into schools, especially now, where there is so much resource difference between institutions. I’ll never be in politics, so no idea. But for the love of Liza Minnelli DO NOT make anyone climb a fucking rope in front of 25 other kids.
Haha. There was maybe one kid in the PE class who was able to do it.
There’s always one. Yep
"... Honestly every time this walking bag of dicks opens its mouth I immediately dissociate...." Ha ha ha! I couldn't have said it better. Thanks, Sheila, for a great start to my day.
Thanks as always Sharron! Sending good energy and light to you..always! Stay strong, but also dissociate when needed :) X!
I have lived with the failure of never once being able to shimmy up a rope, which was somehow incorporated into the fitness test at our high school. I did, however, become a gold medalist in getting out of gym -- something that became life saving after a horrendous field hockey drill in one class during which I hit the shins of a large, healthy, and increasingly angry classmate no fewer than twenty times in the course of ten minutes. Oddly, I love moving my body now. I want to be physically fit. But I still HATE tests.
Elizabeth--I hate to dunk on your bragging rights, but I think you are in good, enormously large company on the rope fail or flail. I am now approaching my Sea Witch Era and have not HAD TO CLIMB UP OR DOWN A ROPE ONCE! Such garbage. Good for you working the system to get out of gym class. Admirable skills right there (MORE THAN DAMN ROPE DANGLING!). Same here on getting in exercise/movement every day pretty organically. Save the damn tests for college admittance. :)