Life is a Series of Hellos and Goodbyes
Thanks for the title, Billy Joel. Please don't litigate
Over this past Memorial Day weekend we attended a high school graduation party for the oldest son of our best friends, Michelle and Todd. I met them when I started dating my now, legally licensed 4LYFE Manpanion. He introduced the pair. Michelle was a co-worker and Todd was a housemate. One night they threw a rager and he invited Michelle.
“Who’s THAT?” asked Todd.
“Her? That’s Michelle. But, dude, don’t bother. You’re not her type. She’s way into the whole long hair rocker thing.” At the time Todd had neither of those things: long hair nor rock.
Smash cut to more than 20 years of wedded bliss and two typically-gross-teenage-boys later. Turns out she was his type after all. When I met them I was instantly smitten. I knew they were my people. Also, I was particularly happy to have one child-free couple left in our pod of friends who were busy getting busy and being all fruitful and multiplying and such. That lasted for about fifteen minutes when Michelle told me the wonderful pregnancy news. Goodbye summer rental on a lake! So long all-inclusive Turks and Caicos vacation! See ya in 18 to 20, New Year’s Eve plans! Of course the tradeoff was better. We got to be a part of their kids’ lives in all the coolest ways a non-parent can be, watching them go from semi-formed lumps of bones and skin and hair into remarkable young humans without ever having to be good or bad cop, but somehow still allowing ourselves to get fleeced for pizza money.
The young man we had gathered to honor is headed into the Air Force Academy in a few precious weeks. Huge deal coming through, absolutely. That’s not snark. Over 10,000 applicants applied to the academy; only 1,200 were accepted. It would have been easier for him to pull an Indiana Jones and fight a bunch of ninjas on a speeding train than it was to make it into this super elite institution. But he’s someone who, at nearly eighteen, has such a strong clarity of purpose and defined sense of self that it’s hard to imagine him not sticking the landing. Frankly it’s a little intimidating to those of us who have been around a lot longer and are still groping around our lives, asking ourselves things like, “Could I be a mushroom and native herb foraging person? Could that be my thing? What if I decided to start liking ice fishing?” The middle-age elders are having some troubles.
We arrived at the venue early to help set up and decorate. Michelle dug out some twine, a few bags of little wooden clothespins, and two thick packets of photographs. She asked me to string up the twine around the room and clip the photographs to the line. I dumped the photos out and spread them around on the table. There were over a hundred, all her son arrested in various stages, phases, and experiences of his life from infancy to now. Here was one of a swaddled baby boy tucked into the crook of Nana’s arm. Here was another of a fourteen year old earning his black belt in karate. His tongue sticking out of a Batman Halloween mask; arm around Dad on a camping trip from last summer; mouth open, asleep on the couch with his little brother, both in Christmas pajamas.
Plop!
Plop!
Plop!
Fat tears splashed on the glossy photos.
“Oh boy,” I heard a voice. I felt Michelle’s arms around my shoulders.
“IT’S JUST…. A LOT!” I said, now both of us laughing and crying.
Later on in the evening I congratulated the graduate. We stood by one of the photo clotheslines. I was still sniffling, but trying not to let it show. I could never be eighteen again, but maybe trying to be all “no big deal” about it was achievable.
“Are you getting excited to head out?” I asked. It was the best way I could phrase it. It wasn’t like he was headed off to the UCLA with a few Led Zeppelin posters and a bunch of beach gear. There was nothing typical about the post-high school experience he was about to undergo. He nodded.
“I’m physically fit and mentally ready,” he said with a wide smile. I knew he was serious as strychnine. And that he was truly ready for this new fork in the path even if for the rest of us watching him go it would still be a lot.
This time of year seems to be about hellos and goodbyes, beginnings and endings. In that case, I decided it would be a good time for reintroductions here.
I know there are new people who have found their way to my strange corner of the Substack rec room. I’m so glad you’re here. The more the scarier! HA! I mean merrier, of course! (a borderline-introvert’s Freudian slip).
Since I started this publication about two years ago, I’ve been self-conscious about not having a neat and tidy type of niche. I have a bit of Stack envy of the people who write about Italian gardens in the Medici era or the history of beer pong (surprisingly not invented by the Greeks!). I’m a Sagittarius; I gotta be free; I need room to throw elbows! The sexy approach on this platform is often tied to “helping you be a better FILL IN THE BLANK.” I don’t really have that kind of expertise. I cannot break down the nuts and bolts of the Nikkei or talk about better ways to woodworking or teach you how to optimize literally anything. I still use the post office—I am not a model of best practices in any part of humaning.
What I do have to offer is humor, smarts, and a knack for looking closely and exploring connections. Stay Curious is a place for my humorous commentary on creative work and modern life. My aim here is to entertain, to bring levity, and to express an original, authentic perspective. If you need some uplift, a break from the gloom, a reminder that life is pretty absurd so why not laugh and embrace the weird—this place is for you.
Welcome. Hey, howdy. Hello, neighbor. Thanks for being here and keeping things….curious.
X! -She
Lens Zen!
Between graduations, weddings, and the change in seasons, it seems like this time of year inspires a fair amount of reflection. Here are a few images I recently took around the Memorial Day holiday weekend, trying to carve out a little time to power down and just enjoy the view.
Hello there fellow Sagg! ;-) lol.
Love the reflection photographs!